The Odyssey of Memphis Depay’s Ball

An unusual story

On the morning of this Friday, a ball that until then had carried the weight of a missed penalty by Memphis Depay was found in São Paulo. The poor thing was completely confused, trying to understand what had happened to its life. At one point, it even thought it had been catapulted toward the suite of a fancy hotel where the player had been staying before dramatically losing its housing allowance.

A sad fate

After an intense search around the city, the truth was revealed: the ball was piled up in a mournful roadside gutter in the east zone. With a few bruises and quite frightened, it reflected on how cruel life can be. One moment, it was shining under the lights at the Itaquera stadium, and the next, it was forgotten amid the sadness of Corinthians’ elimination in the Libertadores.

Memories of a tense moment

While receiving first aid, the ball tried to recall the terrible moment when it was kicked. “He seemed nervous,” it said. “He was playing out of position, and you could feel his frustration. When I realized he was going to shoot from close range, I had a bad feeling. And wasn’t it what happened? I was thrown away without even having a chance to say goodbye to the fans.”

• Even with all the mistreatment, the ball decided not to file a complaint. It believes the players didn’t do it on purpose—just incompetent again. “A cowardly team,” it fired off.
• And it didn’t stop there: the ball confessed that it misses Yuri Alberto, and that Pedro Raul isn’t its type. “Garro? I don’t remember seeing him,” it said, relieved by the doctors’ diagnosis that ruled out amnesia. And what about Memphis? “No hard feelings,” it assured.

Personal reflections

“I don’t know—last year he treated me much better. Now he’s different, a bit fatter, and, I confess, I even find that sexy. But when I was on the sidewalk, I couldn’t believe he was going to shoot—this team simply doesn’t shoot for goal! He didn’t need to send me that far!” the ball vented. “The Memphis only stayed because the fans pressured him, right? I even heard they threatened the president!”

And at that moment, it seemed to realize it had said too much. “Let Memphis play the artist at Parque São Jorge. Corinthians’ democracy is already over,” it finished, making an effort to keep its spot for the match against Fluminense on Sunday. “Everyone will be at Itaquera looking for victory, but don’t be surprised if Diniz, at some point, feels a ball in the face…”

Final expectations

With so many twists and turns, who knows what could still happen? Rômulo Mendonça brings these unusual reflections on Fridays, always inspired by news from UOL. After all, anything can happen, right?